How did the show The X-Files end?
Mulder and Scully made it all the way to the final four before Simon Cowell strongly criticized them for being boring and sounding like a lounge act. They got voted off after that.
What word do you get when you spell “Bob” backwards?
Oh gosh, I don’t know. I’ve always been lousy at math.
How have you come so far in life? Did you sleep your way to the top or did your dad know a guy?
That question offends me on so many levels. I studied and worked very hard and worked my ass off to get where I am. My uncle wouldn’t have hired me or given me all those huge raises and promotions otherwise.
Did you ever get rid of that tattoo you got in your wild, misspent youth and now regret having?
No, I wasn’t able to remove it but I did alter it from Satan riding a hellhound on a bridge of fire to Satan riding a unicorn on a rainbow. At the end of the bridge is Satan’s grandma baking chocolate chip cookies but that was there originally. I’m not sure if the tattoo guy was a serious artist or if he was just screwing with me.
Is it true that you played the wacky coroner in an episode of Friends?
No. I was a wacky orthodontist. A lot of people think it was a coroner because he was also a necrophiliac. That’s what made him wacky. I remember Jennifer Aniston thought I was really funny and that Matthew Perry stole my wallet. Good times.
