Tweeting Dawn
I did an inadvertent live tweet of Breaking Dawn when I saw it this afternoon so I thought I’d collect them all and put them on this page. There are a few general spoilers and one or two very specific spoilers although you should trust me when I say I’m doing you a favor by spoiling it.
I’m off to see that movie about meth dealing vampires called BREAKING BAD DAWN.
via txt
I’m in the audience for BREAKING DAWN. I wonder how many of these teen girls think I’m a sexual predator.
via txt
I have the feeling my #BreakingDawn review will include “The movie would have improved if Robert Pattinson had also played his twin sister”
via txt
As I said the other day, I expect the line “I want to crack your skull on a headboard like Edward did to Bella” to get me laid.
via txt
Edward should take that lump of coal out of his ass. It must be a diamond by now. #BreakingDawn
Kristen Stewart has the ability to look both stoned and like she’s sitting on a tack. #BreakingDawn
via txt
No movie could be this slowly paced. Surely three hours must have passed and OH FUCK ME ONLY 15 MINUTES AAAHH! #BreakingDawn
Only a truly masterful filmmaker could make sex look this boring. #BreakingDawn
via txt
Bella assures Edward he shouldn’t feel bad about beating the crap out of her. This will be Chris Brown’s favorite movie. #BreakingDawn
via txt
Some action almost took place but the filmmakers wisely put a stop to it. #BreakingDawn
via txt
Every time I think every indie folk song in existence has been played, the movie comes up with another one. #BreakingDawn
via txt
Bella’s baby? Jacob wants to fuck her. Stephanie Meyer is a major league weirdo. #BreakingDawn
via txt
Did I say I wasn’t going to livetweet #BreakingDawn? Well, that was a big damn lie.
via txt
Just when you thought you were in store for an epic battle, they once again put a stop to it. Did I mention the baby fucking? #BreakingDawn
via txt
It ends with Michael Sheen proving he’ll do anything for money. I’m out. See you for BREAKING DAWN 2: THE REBREAKNING. #BreakingDawn
via txt
And that’s that. I think we call admire the courage of filmmakers willing to take the pro side on the issues of wife beating and baby fucking so I’m sure you’ll all rush out right now to see Breaking Dawn.
